I almost never schedule one-time or short-term calls, chats, and emails because most humans need time and the chance to observe the results of consistently applied choices to develop the habits that will truly alter the course of life. It’s easy to return to old habits even with new information in hand. It is in practical application and reflecting on experiences that a mentor is most useful.
Note: Previous clients are the exception. Even after you choose to move on from our work together, you are welcome to schedule occasional conversations with me as needed.
Quick fixes are appealing, but rarely enduring.
The promise that one call will make a lasting difference feels like tricks and lies to me. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I’m sick of the suggestion that just one realization, conversation, system, or book will “of course” completely change your life and potentially eliminate your problems. Even ongoing conversations with me (oh, my!) are merely one component of a collection of experiences that will add up to real transformation, new opportunities, and a healthier lifestyle and relationships. Experience, wider perspectives, and practice are key.
I believe that the most useful, nurturing, and long-lasting skills and habits develop through consistent effort and consciously refining what works into even more useful habits. Just like with sports or programming, these life skills become solid, instinctive, and reliable through consistent application in a variety of real life experiences and emotional states, tested and proven so they’ll be reliable when life gets rough.
It is within our most frequent reactions and routines that we need to express the best of ourselves in order to claim lasting growth.
Inspiration and revelation are merely useful boosts to help get started.
When a quick-fix promise or an aha! moment fades it can feel like a crushing disappointment. Sometimes people even believe it’s “proof” that freedom, growth, and connection might not be possible (for me) after all. Those kinds of high expectations and crashes can end up sabotaging the steady process of reaching an otherwise fully obtainable goal of healthy relationships and a life of freedom.
What I do as a mentor is consistently remind you to notice and rely on your strengths, gifts, skills, and inherent worth so you won’t self sabotage by giving up or relying on people who can’t see or accept you. It’s easier to accept the opportunities available to you when you remember you’re worthy of them. And then, I keep reminding you every time you forget … until it becomes a habit to remember on your own.
A realization takes only a moment.
An ideal and a dream take only a breath.
Creating the habits that will allow you to live out your realizations, dreams, and ideals in reality requires … time and practice.
Our interactions should function as a stable environment, designed to consistently support the development of freeing habits and perspectives,… not an unsustainable event that might drop a generic list of guidelines into your hand while passing. I choose not to hint at false promises by suggesting permanent transformation fits into a predefined box on the calendar.
Creating the space to heal and develop your strengths takes many forms.